Power of Proximity
The power of proximity is particularly poignant for people at either end of the spectrum
No one lives in New York City. Of course, that’s not true: about 8 million people do. But to say that someone lives in New York City is incomplete. They really live in one of the five boroughs (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx or Staten Island) and, to be fair, that isn’t descriptive enough. There are at least 200 neighborhoods within New York City. Two people may live in NYC: one in Upper East Side in Manhattan and the other in South Bronx in The Bronx. Same city, very different places.
While few of us may live in a place as populous and dense as New York City, the same principle applies. We don’t live in a metropolitan area; we live in a specific neighborhood and block that is part of that metropolitan area.
The power of proximity is more a function of our neighborhood and block than the metropolitan area. This is why thinking granularly is so important.
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What is the Power of Proximity?
The power of proximity refers to the impact that physical closeness or geographic proximity can have on various key aspects of life. It is an appreciation that much of our day-to-day lives are shaped by what is physically close to us.
As venture capitalist James Currier articulates in his essay “Your Life is Driven by Network Effects”, our networks operate as a powerful yet unseen force. Where you live is one of a few seismic decisions that influence our networks.
Proximity forms our habits. Living in a high-trust neighborhood makes us more likely to trust our neighbors. If farmers markets are a thing, we are more likely to shop at them and eat healthier. We are more likely to walk regularly if a community has wide sidewalks or has few steep hills. These are often unconscious responses to our environment and social norms.
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Proximity Shapes Our Relationships
Proximity is particularly influential in shaping our friendship networks.
We are in a well-documented era of social disconnectedness and rising loneliness. Nearly one in four people worldwide – which translates into more than a billion people – feel very or fairly lonely, according to a 2023 Meta-Gallup survey of more than 140 countries.
Our decision about place has a strong impact on our social connectedness, or “social health” as author Kasley Killam uses in her book The Art & Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier and Happier. There are some places in which we are more likely to develop and maintain strong friendships. Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar (of the famed “Dunbar’s Number”) asserts that friendship-making is a function of time and chemistry; the right place creates the environment for friends to flourish.
Entrepreneur Phil Levin has identified a key life hack: Don’t move and look for friends. Move close to your friends. He founded Live Near Friends. A Harvard study supports his point: living within 1 mile of a friend can increase your happiness by 25%. Within ½ miles, this number is over 40%.
This is one of the reasons why people in the second half of life should consider age-restricted communities carefully but skeptically. It has the benefit of providing neighbors who likely share a similar life stage and interests (and likely have a lot of discretionary time), all key ingredients for forging friendships. However, you are likely to conform to this homogenous network. Developing different types of friends, such as those of a younger cohort, is less likely to happen.
For all these reasons and more, it is important to understand neighborhoods and blocks deeply before moving to them, especially before purchasing a home. Homes that look perfect on Zillow can be less so if the neighborhood and block don’t have the power of proximity you are looking for.
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Don’t Underestimate the Power of Proximity, Particularly for Ages at Either End of the Spectrum
The power of proximity is particularly poignant for people at either end of the spectrum: young families and older adults. In both cases, the frequency of leaving your immediate proximity is low. You are making a bigger bet on your neighborhood and block. It can make your life awesome or miserable.
Thinking you can overcome the power of proximity can be like trying to overcome gravity. It is best to respect the power of proximity and lean into it, not against it. It is one of the keys to healthy longevity.